History really does repeat itself - or else I'm just filtering things well...

This week, I introduced my son to the joy that is Indiana Jones.

 We watched the first film in the series - 'Raiders of the Lost Ark'. No matter that it was over 30 years old. He devoured it just as I remember doing all those years ago.

I couldn't help but think of the similarities of the first time I ever watched it. I sat with my father, on his knee shielding my eyes at the scary bits...and I do remember one particular conversation on that night. Indy leaves Marion prisoner when he has the chance to free her - he knows that if she disappears from her makeshift prison, bound to a tent pole, her captors will suspect he has returned and this will put the recovery of the Ark in jeopardy. I remember questioning my father incessantly as to why he didn't rescue her and, although he explained, I couldn't quite understand why the good guy hadn't simply done what the good guys do...

My son, sat on my knee, asked the very same question at the very same point - I tried to explain in the same way my father had to me. He seemed perplexed at the answer I gave and still questioned on - just as I had. It was uncanny. Perhaps it was coincidence but perhaps it wasn't. Perhaps, as soon as the conversation started, I travelled the same neural-networks I had all those years ago and almost 're-engineered' the conversation so that it fit with my model of the world.

It is said by many people in many ways that we do this all the time. Neurologists call it our Reticular Activating System, Psychologists call it a feedback loops and confirmation bias. Some people even explain it in a more mystical way 'if you dream and think it then the universe will bring it to you'. It's more subtle than that of course - It's how we filter things in or out that appear relevant, which can work both for us and against us.  Like any filter, we allow certain information through and block some of it out in order to make sense of the world around us.  In this case, my filter worked in quite an obvious way - by remembering an event from a previous time. Sometimes it is much more subtle than that - such as allowing only information through that confirms my original opinion on something to be true..

Either way - I did about as bad a job trying to explain it as my father did to me - proof that even with an effective filter, it doesn't mean we always learn from the past - even when history does seem to repeat itself!

It's the little things

Another typical day has passed. Of course, my day-to-day routine changes quite often, but there are still some steadfast jobs that occur without fail. The kids wake up, breakfast is made, off to school they go, work begins and ends as usual, family dinner, bedtime, and then we start all over again. Sound familiar?

On a typical day of walking the kids home from school, it is not uncommon for me to say, "Hurry up" or "Come on then, let's get home" to my children, who tend to walk along at an excruciatingly slow place. On this particular autumn day, there were piles of fallen leaves scattered along our path. My eldest, uncharacteristically, took off running. "Oh good, I thought, maybe we can get home at a decent time." But instead of continuing on as I'd hoped, she ran straight towards a big pile of leaves. Back and forth she went - kicking up as many leaves as possible.

My youngest soon joined in. Instinctively, I started my usual, "Come one now…we've got to get home," but I stopped myself mid-sentence. What's the rush? Why ARE we in such a big hurry? Then I realised - we needn't rush at all. For once, I had no appointments, no meetings. I've just been so used to rushing from one thing to the next that, inherently, every daily task has become a timed event.

I look a deep breath and watched my little ones literally jump for joy. They piled the leaves up again and ran through them over and over. Instinctively, they'd glance over to me, almost as if they were waiting for me to say it was time to go. But I never did. In that moment, in that tiny space of time, I slowed down and just enjoyed it.

It's the little things in life that make a difference. Sometimes, we just have to slow down to see that.

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Random Acts of Kindness

So I'm on the train, heading from London to Preston. It's rush hour and there are no seats. My colleague and I are standing and I offer to go and buy a couple of bottles of water.

At the till there is a guy in front of me who looks particularly stressed. His tie is pulled down and his top button is open. He looks frazzled and flushed like he has just sprinted to the train.

He offers his loose change over in exchange for two cans of lager. The lady shakes her head as she counts through it and looks up to tell him he is a pound short. With a resigned look he turns to put one back.

Without really thinking I put my two bottles of water on the counter and gave a £5 note to pay, telling the assistant to take the shortfall out of my change and let him have the two beers. "He looks like he needs it," I said.

He couldn't believe it. He couldn't speak! "Really?" he gasped, finally. "You wouldn't believe what a day I've had, mate -- You've just restored my faith in humanity!"

Well now, what's a beer between a couple of blokes who don't know each other?

I just hope that when he got home and his wife asked him -- "How was your day?" -- his answer was changed by my random act of kindness. And I hope his evening with his family (if he has one) was just that little bit better for him and them as a result.

Interestingly, I don't actually care if that happens or not. I felt good about it and a little bit of me changed with the gesture.

Pay it forward!

Plastic? You've got to be kidding me.

Occasionally, I share a story or two about my kids and the things they say. They seem to get better and better as they become more conscious of their surroundings and influences and it becomes more obvious by the day that we need to be really careful with what we say…

We were on a bike riding around the lake one pleasant Sunday, with my daughter (5) (that's five years old by the way) leading the way. As we turned the corner, we passed the ice cream hut at the far side and the hatch was open. You know what is coming next…

"Daddy, can we have an ice cream please?" my daughter (5) (remember that's five years of age) asked. "Well, honey, it's nearly dinner time so let's wait until after. And besides, I haven't brought any money out with me," I replied -- thinking that would be the end of that…

"Don't worry Daddy; I'm sure they'll take plastic."

What have we done? How can she know about this already? No wonder the world got in the mess it did.

Be careful what you say. You think they aren't listening but they are. You think they wouldn't understand even if they are listening. But they DO!!!

Lewis – An ordinary inspiration. Facing the Facts...

I met Lewis a month or so ago.  His quiet inspiration astonished me - no frills; Just absolute bloody-mindedness to overcome the facts.  I was asking a group bout what facts they face in their day.  They talked about traffic, early mornings, the weather etc etc etc etc……  Lewis came to me in the break.  He told me about a few facts he had faced.   Here is how he told me.  Be inspired.

"My story begins from the age of 11, when – on suffering from a constant high temperature - I was rushed to hospital where they removed my appendix. They assumed that was the problem but were wrong.  My mother was with me when I stopped breathing on the ward.  My heart stopped and I had to be revived by the staff.  I was unconscious for so long that my brain was starved of oxygen and left me in intensive care in a comatose state with severe damage to the brain. 

I spent a whole year in the infirmary.  I had to relearn all basic motor skills just like a young infant. I had to go through schooling and relearn basic maths and English skills and worst of all was the intense Physiotherapy.  When I stood up for the first time in one year the pain was unimaginable and two floors of the hospital heard my screams.

I was then transferred to a private hospital.  This sounds great but I was separated from all friends and family so that I could purely concentrate on my recovery, which was very difficult.  Once I was there I had to undergo further occupational and physiotherapy, speech therapy and more schooling, I had to learn how to use a wheelchair and crutches to walk.  I had to use two bars in which to support my weight and after some time I used my physio for support.

When I was there it felt more like a prison at times due to the strictness and set rules.  However, it was a beautiful building with beautiful grounds, I learnt how to cook and prepare meals and drinks and we went on day and evening trips in order to build our social skills.  I spent the best part of a year there.

The rebuilding process has continued over the years.  Now I am an undergraduate at University.  They said I would never walk or talk again. 

Here I am; I walked in here to tell you this story."

Customer Devotion - Its a 2 way thing - Genius!

So I went to the Apple store today.  I know, I know - everyone talks about how great Apple is and it has almost become a cliche.

However, what they did demonstrated how real customer devotion works.  I had experienced a real issue with email the previous day - where basically everything had seized up on me.  It says a lot about the world when I can honestly say that without email I was lost - without contact.  (Of course this isn't true - but it felt like it at the time!)

I had spoken with the email host company and they had blamed the situation on my mac and the difficulty it has in communicating with certain email formats.  I went to the Genius bar at Apple - such a great name - and they spent the next two hours pulling various people of the shop floor (a very busy shop floor) to solve my issue.  An issue that it turned out was nothing to do with Apple or my hardware and completely due to the email host's internal issue.  In fact, none of the Apple geniuses actually understood what was happening and why - yet they still ploughed on to solve the issue.

They were devoted to me - the customer.  Is it any wonder therefore that I am devoted to them - real bonafide 2 way customer devotion?

The culprit - who was at fault - made the most serious of mistakes - blaming someone else and demonstrating customer irreverence - such that I will now devote myself to leaving them as quickly as possible.  Devotion to customers drives customer devotion.  That simplicity is the genius of Apple.

Do It Or Don't Do It - Then Choose to be Happy

Life is a set of choices.  It's a fairly bold point to make.  People may argue that there are things that are not a choice - but when you really come down to it - we all choose to obey the law (or not) - we all choose to live by certain standards or values (or not) - and we all choose to prioritise things deemed to be important (it's just a question of what you deem to be important).

Of course there are certain things that are not actually a choice.  Where I was born, my genetic make-up, history and things from the past - to name but a few.  We can, however, choose how we then deal with those things.

Take something simpler and a little less controversial.  I 'choose' to be an inconsistent and distinctly average golfer.  Why?  Because I don't practise enough or dedicate the time to improve.  I would 'like' to play well - but I actually choose to prioritise work or family over golf.  I could 'choose' to improve at golf - and face the consequences of less work time or less time with family as a practise night after night.  Either way, I can then 'choose' my response.  I am 'happy' with my choice.  I play golf and don't get wound up when I hit a bad shot.  It would be silly to get wound up - I have 'chosen' not to practise so bad shots will remain a part of my round.

I know some people who 'choose' to be bad at golf (by not practising) and then get really frustrated and miserable with it.....I even know some people who 'choose' to improve but then moan that they cant get their work done or that they are upsetting their family.  What if I didn't have the money to learn golf?  A valid question.  Seve Ballesteros practised by hitting stones with a rusty old iron on a beach.  If you want it enough you'll find a way.

Either way - if we realise more things are a choice - we can then choose our response.  Give up smoking or don't, lose weight or don't, practise hard at a hobby or don't, work hard or don't, do your kitchen extension or don't, go on holiday or don't - either way is fine.  It's a choice - so make it and be happy with it.