What Doesn't Kill Us Makes Us Stronger

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.  A phrase that is rolled out all too often when the facts around us appear to be negative.

I'm pretty sure that Adam Scott may have heard that phrase, or a similar version, over the last couple of days.  Four shots clear after four holes?  That has got to hurt.

Another golfer who suffered a similar fate was asked if he ever thought about the shot that lost him the Open.  His reply was; "Not really, sometimes I go a whole ten minutes without thinking about it."  

Emotional strength is something that we can work on on an ongoing basis.  How we deal with the facts drives how we feel about them.

Rory McIlroy went straight out and won the next Major Championship after his disaster and Im sure that eased the pain somewhat.

Its a lot easier to say 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' once we are back on the road to recovery but the paradox is that to get on the road to recovery we must have some iota of belief in that statement itself to begin with.

In the moment, Im sure its difficult to see the woods from the trees (no pun intended) so we must try to build that emotional strength on an ongoing basis - putting some cash in the emotional bank account for times when there is a Major withdrawal.

It will happen to everyone in their own context - the question is - have you deposited enough to make sure you don't go overdrawn?  I truly hope Mr Scott has.

Please Don't Confuse Subtlety with Significance.

Please don't confuse subtlety with significance.

Language is a very subtle thing.  However, just because it can be subtle, that doesn't make it insignificant. The words we use say everything about us.

I recently asked a friend 'How life was treating them?'  Just an insignificant question designed to break the ice after a few weeks without contact...right?  Only partly.  The wording has more significance than may first be apparent.  The question demonstrates the belief (however deep rooted) that life is in charge of you, not the other way around.

Now - people may scoff and say - "Calm down, its just a question" - but if we hold true the understanding that our behaviour is driven by our beliefs either consciously or subconsciously, perhaps it would be worth re-thinking the wording to be less fatalistic.  The significant part of this process is the 'thinking' about it.  As I think about it consciously I develop my belief system accordingly.

I, for one, would find it awkward to turn the language around completely.  I wouldn't ask; "How are you treating life?" However, I'm sure there is a phrase that I can find that would work for me - and probably one that is already commonly used in greetings around the world...

There are many examples of how language can reveal the deeper held beliefs of an individual.  "Its only me" - implying I'm not important; "Take Care" - implying the dangers are many and you must avoid them.  These are everyday sayings that we use without conscious intent - however, if we consciously think about them, we may want to make a different point.

So many of these statements we make are negative in their nuance.  We become so used to them that it has become a part of our everyday accepted language.  We don't have to invent new outlandish phrases to counter this - we can just think about our language more carefully, think about what belief it implies and in the process of doing this, work on our belief system as a direct result.

With regards to shifting our belief system, building self esteem and 'thinking positively', subtle changes can be significant  - we don't have to change the world to change the world.

Playtime & Success - Who says you can't have it all?

“ The only place success comes before work is the dictionary.” Vidal Sassoon.  


It’s a quote I’ve seen before and saw again this morning.

It may be true – I think we all understand the sentiment.  However, I did start to think about something that comes before both of those things – in the dictionary as well as in life. 

Play.

I tweeted a phrase my Dad used to share with me recently; “Find something you love doing Simon and you’ll never work a day in your life”.  What he meant was that work can be play – and if you make it so then it doesn’t feel like work anymore.  What is interesting though is the by-product of this – when work is play – it often breeds success.

Think about it.  Think about something you love; Something that when you do it you lose track of time; You get into a state of flow; Something that when you wake up early to do it you are excited and you can’t put it down at night.

It could be gardening, golfing, guitaring, gaming, gyming, grilling, galloping, guffawing or any other activity for that matter (it doesn’t even have to begin with with G).

If you really enjoy it, you’ll dedicate time and energy to mastering your art (or science), and as a result its likely that you are going to get pretty good at it.

It may be that you can’t just become a pro golfer – but there are lots of other opportunities to work in the world of golf.  The same goes for any activity.  If you love it enough, find a way to play and work at the same time.

It will make for a happy working life – and lets face it we spend a lot of our life at work.

Playtime and Success – Who says you can’t have it all?

You are the Cause; Luck is the Effect

"You need a bit of luck in a tournament like this."

I’m trying to think how many times I have heard that statement over the past few weeks.  Every single person that has been asked about England’s performances in the Euros has said the above statement.

Does luck really exist?  There are two ways you can look at any situation involving what might be called ‘luck’.

England were lucky not to concede against Ukraine when the ball had clearly crossed the line.

 John Terry put himself in the right place at the right time to put enough doubt in the 6^th official’s mind.

This is luck at its most basic – a perception.

People who tend to be luckier just think differently about opportunities. They also think differently about their failures.  This process can be so powerful it can even filter out opportunities staring them in the face.

Last week a salesperson called our house.  He asked for Mr. Clarkson so my wife put our 2-year-old son on the phone.  We giggled as our little lad jabbered away.  When we took the phone back off him the salesperson had hung up.  We may not have bought anyway, but now there was no chance. 

However, if that salesperson had still been on the phone, and had shown a sense of humour – I would have heard him and his sales pitch out.  You never know – I might have even bought.

He might have considered himself lucky if I had but the truth is, it would have been him making his own luck by giving it a chance. 

He probably considered himself unlucky so put the phone down.  The truth is – he was unlucky BECAUSE he put the phone down.  Its just a case of cause and effect.

You are the cause – luck is the effect.

So come on England – do the right things and the world can think you are lucky.

The Brain's Protractor

Welcome to the Think Works Blog!

The first in an ongoing series of observations, anecdotes, lessons, questions and more.  All focused at improving the way we think and therefore do.

The cornerstone of anyone working in this field of human high performance is perspective and perception.  So let's start there....

You remember protractors at school?  Usually a semi circular thing for measuring angles.

Your mind has a hidden protractor when it comes to perspective.

We were in Cyprus for a 10 day break.  Beautiful place and fantastic people.  We had 3 days left of the holiday and a friend used an interesting word... JUST.  "Just 3 days left" he said to my daughter.  She turned to us and with a sad look on her face said "I don't want to go home yet."

My response was to highlight that we weren't going home yet - that 3 days gave us plenty of opportunity to have lots of fun.

It led me to think that you can look at 3 days very differently depending on your perspective - or ANGLE.  If you are about to head away for a romantic city break for a long weekend - the thought of 3 whole days is a really exciting one.  However, when people think of the last 3 days of a 2 week holiday, it may well depress them.

Look at any fact you face and there are lots of angles it can be viewed from.  These angles are nothing more than perspectives.  Take a different view of a fact and you are using your mind as a protractor to see which angle might be the best to see it from.

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